Chapter 12: Life at Home: Families and Relationships
The third primary type of interpersonal human relationship we engage in is that of family. What is family? Is family created by legal ties, or the bond of sharing common blood? Or, can a family exist considered people who share commitment to one some other? In an effort to recognize the diversity of families we define family as an arranged group, usually related by blood or some binding factor of commonality, where individual roles and relationships modify over time. Family relations are typically long term and generally take a catamenia in which common space is shared.
Pearson suggests that families share similar characteristics as they tend to be, organized, a relational transactional group, sharing a living space for prolonged periods of time and a mixture of interpersonal images that evolve through the exchange of meaning over time. Let's take a few moments to unpack this definition.
- Families Are Organized. All of usa occupy and play fairly predictable roles (parent, child, older sibling) in our family relationships. Similarly, advice in these relationships can be fairly anticipated. For example, your younger brother may human activity as the family peacemaker, while your older sister always initiates fights with her siblings.
- Families Are a Relational Transactional Group. Not only is a family made upwardly of the private members, it is largely divers by the relationships between the members. Think back to our give-and-take of Systems Theory in Affiliate Five. A family that consists of two opposite-sexual practice parents, an older sis, her husband and 3 kids, a younger brother, his new married woman, and ii kids from a commencement marriage is largely defined past the relationships amidst the family unit members. All of these people have a role in the family and interact with others in fairly consistent ways according to their roles.
- Families Usually Occupy a Mutual Living Space Over an Extended Catamenia of Time. 1 consequent theme when defining family unit is recognizing that family unit members typically live under the same roof for an extended period of time. We certainly include extended family unit within our definition, but for the most part, our notions of family unit include those people with whom we share, or have shared, common space over a period of time. Even though y'all may have moved away to college, a large part of your definition of your family is the fact that you spent a slap-up deal of your life sharing a home with those you call your family unit.
- Families Possess a Mixture of Interpersonal Images that Evolve Through the Commutation of Meaning Over Time. From our families, we learn important values concerning intimacy, spirituality, communication, and respect. Parents and other family members model behaviors that shape how we interact with others. Every bit a outcome, we continually form images of what information technology means to be a family, and try to maintain that paradigm of family in our lives. You may define family as your firsthand family unit, consisting of your parents and a sibling. However, your romantic partner may see family as consisting of parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Each of you perform different communication behaviors to maintain your image of family.
Many families have children as function of their makeup. Olson and McCubbin discuss seven stages that families with children go through as they progress through life. Families without children will not follow all of these stages, and blended families, where i parent does non have primary custody of children, may experience less extreme shifts between stages.
The commencement stage of family development is Establishing a Family. In this phase couples settle into committed or married life and make necessary changes in acknowledgement of their new legal, relational, and social condition. If they did not live together prior to spousal relationship they may need to work out details of sharing infinite, money, and fourth dimension. Often, this stage involved establishing a first abode together as a couple.
The 2d stage of family unit development is Enlarging a Family. In this stage a couple decides to expand their family with the addition of children. While a fourth dimension of joy and commemoration, this is as well a catamenia of great stress and change for parents as they figure out new roles as parents. Time for friends, work, and 1 another is often decreased as the demands of a new child get the primary business concern and focus of the couple'due south attending and resources. In this stage, the human relationship is no longer divers in terms of two people, only includes the children that are now part of the family.
The tertiary stage of family development is Developing a Family. Equally children abound, their needs change from primarily physical (feeding, changing diapers, and sleep) to more than cognitive and emotional ones. Parents become the primary source of instilling cultural and spiritual values, as well as fostering a child's individual personality. This menstruum takes a tremendous amount of time and commitment from parents equally the children remain the focus of daily interactions. Think of the family that runs around taking children to soccer, baseball, piano lessons, church building, and guiding their educational evolution. In this stage, the personal development of children is of high importance to the family.
The quaternary phase of family unit development is Encouraging Independence. Around the teen years children begin the process of naturally pulling away from their parents every bit a ways of establishing and securing an independent identity. You might recall that this period contained periods of stress and frustration for your parents, as well as y'all. Children may feel their parents are being overly protective or nosy about their friends and activities, while parents may experience abased and concerned for their kid'south safety equally they spend more fourth dimension away from home. These are ofttimes referred to as the rebellious years in which children engage in behaviors for the purpose of establishing independence from their parents.
The fifth phase of family unit development is Launching Children. Over the course of raising children couples experience a relationship with one another where children are often the key focus rather than each other. In the Launching Children stage, each member of the couple must at present relearn his/her roles as the grown children somewhen exit home for college, a career, or their own marriage and family. If 1 of the parents gave upwardly a career to raise children he/she may wonder what to do with the free time. While the empty nest syndrome can be stressful it is also a chance for new possibilities as parents accept more than time, coin, freedom, and energy to spend on each other, hobbies, travel, and friends. Many experience excitement almost being able to focus on each other every bit a couple after years of raising children in the dwelling house.
The sixth stage of family evolution is Post-Launching of Children. Depending on how a couple handles stage five, the mail-launching of children can exist filled with renewed dearest, or tin produce corking strain on the marriage every bit a couple learns that they do not know how to relate with one some other outside the context of raising children. Some couples fall in love all over once more and may renew their wedding ceremony vows as a indicate of this new phase in their relationship. Some parents who may accept decided to stay in a spousal relationship for the sake of the children may determine to terminate the relationship after the children have left the family home. For some couples, with no "birds left in the nest" the family dog becomes the new center of attending and inadvertently takes on the office as one of the offspring and continues to regulate and restrict the couple's actions as the canis familiaris demands rearing. Some parents option up new hobbies, travel around the earth, and maintain multiple "appointment days" each week.
The seventh stage of family development is Retirement. Similar to the launching of children, freedom from work can exist an opportunity for growth and exploration of new relationships and activities. Simply having more time in the day can facilitate travel, volunteer work, or continuing teaching. Conversely, people in this stage might experience a reduction in income and the loss of identity that came with membership in a profession. The family unit may also experience new growth during this stage as grown children bring their own relational partners and grandchildren in equally new members of the family unit.
Advice patterns inside the family, and between a couple, are continually changed and revised as a family progresses through the in a higher place stages. The fact that a couple generally spends less time together during stages 2 and three, and more time together in stages five through viii, requires that they continually manage dialectical tensions such as autonomy/connection. Management of these tensions may manifest itself equally conflict. All relationships accept disharmonize. Disharmonize is natural. How we think almost and manage conflict is what is important.
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Source: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/introductiontocommunication/chapter/family-relationships/
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